Some clips of Flight of the Conchords. "Business Time" and "Jenny" are partcularly great. Two very talented and funny Kiwis!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Inspector finally departs!

I had been informed that the Dutch ski slopes were high up and that Interpol was in Holland. As I have previously reported, I was wrong on both counts. High? Well I was certainly high as a kite on what I had innocently believed was a Marlboro light and had a very nasty moment at Heathrow as I looked a bit of a wreck and not my usual dapper self . Luckily I pulled rank with my connections at Scotland Lard, exited the airport, a bit sharpish shall we say, and decided to return the next day to fly to Lyon, where I was assured Interpol were based, and do a bit of proper skiing and begin my "Round the TEFL World in Eighty Days" journey in France.

The only problem with France, in the Inpector's view is the French. Great scenery, shaggable women, great weather down south but.... and it's a big but, The Inspector takes a dim view of any country whose staple diet is basically slugs (with shells), frogs, brains, bollocks and ehrm........ well you get my drift. The police look like some of those on the streets in China, with their big clubs and not a lot going on upstairs! Not so unlike some of the seedy strip joints in Amsterdam I researched, but I digress.....

After the experience of the Banana Club in Amsterdam I'm right off fresh fruit and dodgy foreign cigarettes and the Inspector is now on a strict diet of purified yaks milk (organic), the healing properties of this medicine are legendary, and it has been prescribed for me by my English GP. I couldn't take the risk of seeing a doctor in France as I had been tipped off that no sooner have they shaken your hand then they stick something up your behind. Why is it that everything medical in France has to be taken up the "exit" end, rather than nature's natural "entrance" orifice, the mouth, and stuck up your derriere as suppositories? I always knew the French talked through their arses but they seem to use them for a lot of other purposes than which they were intended by the good Lord. Perhaps Paul Lowe of Windsor TEFL courses can enlighten the Inspector, as he can expect a rather large cucumber in the post on Monday, and will undoubtedly be eager to follow the instructions as to what to do with it! I digress again.

I'll be spending some time in this strange land and will kick off with some of the biggest bunch of shysters ever to walk this planet - Wall Street Institute.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard


Anonymous said...

The Baron says...say it with flowers and give Paul Lowe a cactus shaped like a cucumber.He'll figure out what to do with it

Anonymous said...

80 days amongst the worst sharks of the ESL world- pack lots of antibiotics.

Anonymous said...

Inspector McHammered,

Your website has done much to warn about tefl


I have uploaded documents you may find interesting.

The account:


Created for the explicit purpose of making those doc's available to you.

You are of course welcome to access and change the pass.

Note mike's resume archived to pdf. It's no longer online

but here you see it as it was.

There is one more important document (Everon_.pdf. It is proof positive that bruce

sold franchises in India. Page 85 refers to tefl
international, details and money's paid. Do the conversion

to pounds or dollars, it's big money.
Brief exerts below:

We have entered into a Business Agreement with TEFL

exclusive rights for operating and marketing the brand

“TEFL INTERNATIONAL” along with all the existing

franchisees for
the professional programs in languages, teachers Training

and pre school for the area covering India including

and Nicobar Islands.
TEFL is a Company based in USA, conducting Pre school

education, Teachers training and English language programs
in India through its Subsidiary Company called TEFL

Education (India) Private Limited.