Some clips of Flight of the Conchords. "Business Time" and "Jenny" are partcularly great. Two very talented and funny Kiwis!

Flight of the Conchords

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Thursday, June 07, 2007

IQ Test

As most people reading this will be teachers, the Inspector though it would be a good idea to give you all an IQ test so that you can boast to your students how clever you are. As professionals dedicated to educating the great unwashed masses you should naturally score full marks - shouldn't you?


Well here goes......... oh and no cheating!

Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have
to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all
of them immediately. OK?



Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)



First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second
person. What position are you in?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you
take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first question,
OK ?



Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?



You're not very good at this, are you?







Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head
only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add
10. What is the total?



Scroll down for answer.....





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is
definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last
question right... Maybe.



Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4.
Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair
of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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Diverse



Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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Global TEFL Organisations

Global TEFL Organisations on The TEFL Blacklist:
http://teflblacklist.blogspot.com/2007/11/tefl-international.html
i-to-i
TEFL International


_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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i-to-i TEFL - 1 to 1 TEFL


Self publicity disguised as third party unbiased informed objective comment is often the last refuge of the morally bankrupt.

Richard Bradford of Cactus TEFL can frequently be observed secretly strutting his stuff in the Guardian. TEFL.com are not averse to taking money from rogue schools who advertise as long as they get paid. And of course, that old pirate Dollar Dave otherwise known as Saint Sperling must have been responsible for many an EFL nightmare as unwitting adventurers fall for his myriad of enticing jobs and instead end up in some god forsaken hell hole in the middle of nowhere.

Starting to despair? Well don't, because your noble Inspector is on hand to offer some friendly advice. Want to do some good PR on yourself. Well don't wait for eternity hoping that someone will write something complimentary about you. No no no. When in Rome do as the Romans my dear Watson. What's good enough for them should be good enough for you.

Just.........

WRITE IT YOURSELF .

Just write a nice flattering article about yourself, with lots of words like "good".......... "recommended"............. "wonderful".............and ehrm......well you get the Inspector's drift I'm sure. Then all you have to do is post it on some blog as an unbiased informed review and well - job done and end of story.

That dear readers is exactly what "i-to-i" TEFL have done!

"i-to-i" came to the Inspector's attention not so long ago as possible Oscar winners next year for the biggest load of horse manure in TEFL, but what with Lady Florence McHammered hot on his heels they weren't, shall we say, uppermost on his mind .

Well they've now made it onto the TEFL Blacklist in record quick time as shysters of self-promotion of the first order. They deserve a good cucumbering.

This has just been posted on the "nomination" section.................

I nominate "i-to-i".
"i-to-i" lists www.learntefltoday. com as an “official” evaluation of their online tefl course.

The problem is that this site is actually one of "i-to-i ‘s" affiliates!

If you click on the the "i-to-i" banner on the learntefltoday site it puts a cookie on your computer that tracks you via commission junction – www.cj.com. If you were to purchase the "i-to-i" online TEFL course, the owners of learntefltoday.com website will get a commission paid to them!

www.learntefltoday.com website is an affiliate partner of "i-to-i" . How can "i-to-i" dare put this site on their home page as if it were an unbiased evaluation of their course?

This is what "i-to-i" says:

“It's official! The best online TEFL courses available(as voted by learntefltoday.com)”.

Is this ethical? I don’t think so!!

Any comments dear readers?

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

TEFL jobs in Thailand

The following posting has just been made on the "Nominate a School" section. Anyone thinking of doing a TEFL course in Thailand would be well advised to take note. The Inspector can't vouch for its authenticity as his Thai is a little rusty of late.

So read on......................

"Please be aware that there is a dangerous situation developing in Thailand based TEFL training schools.

The Thai Immigration are getting hot on catching teachers working without the correct paperwork, a legal teacher needs a Work Permit and a Teachers Licence which is granted to teachers with accredited degrees only.

However two TEFL training schools, amongst many, are neglecting to tell prospective trainees this essential fact. One other TEFL school told me it is possible to work as they arrange the work but that it is lower paid for one year and maybe, just maybe, they may get a work permit.. Is mine a bloater?.

Examples of con-trickery.

Text and Talk http://www.teflteachthai.com/DoYouNeedaDegree.html actually point out to trainees without a degree that they can go and get a "life degree" from three Degree Mills.

Next is UEC / TEFL Institute and I quote from http://www.teflthai.com/faq.htm#17

"Do I need to have a university degree to teach in Thailand?
The short answer is no, as it depends on where you want to teach. There are hundreds if not thousands of English language teachers in Thailand who are good teachers of English as a foreign language, and who teach in language schools, corporations, English language tutoring centers, and regular schools."

The Thai authorities have clear rules on teachers and these TEFL training schools are only after money whatever they profess, as many TEFL students believe the web site statements only to find out the reality.

Anyone who is considering teaching in Thailand must consider taking a degree first from an accredited Uni., and do not be conned by UEC or Text and Talk or any of the others.

The Bangkok Hilton is still open and has many vacancies."

There's an intersting posting about TEFL International who operate in Thailand at TEFL International
_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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TEFL Jobs in Indonesia

Indonesian schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

  1. EF Indonesia English First


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Kingstonmae International School Greece

My dear readers. Please do not be so gullible as to ever send 950 euros to this outfit. You see it ehrm ............ well it doesn't exist!

It consists of one optimistic Nigerian with a mobile phone.

You know the story of Little Red Riding Hood? I'm sure you do, well there is a big bad wolf out there just waiting to gobble up all your hard earned euros.

There is no such school and the big bad wolf will probably pop up somewhere else so dooooooooo be very very careful or the Inspector will have to spank you and send you to your room.


"English Teachers needed We require enthusiastic and creative English teachers to join our friendly Team. The Teacher should: • be an excellent classroom practitioner • be able to work collaboratively with colleagues • be cheerful and flexible, willing to relocate. • Teaching experience preferred not compulsory • Good knowledge of all the modern educational materials for intensive classes in English Duties include: • Teaching English Language • Writing reports • Monitor students conducts. • Setting and conducting exams/tests. • Maintaining discipline in the school. SALARY: 1650 Euro Monthly. Free Accomodatation (furnished single apartment) Free Lunch (feeding) Visa and work permit sponsorship. Air ticket free. 12 Months renewable contract Start date june 30th(1st batch to begin with the special holiday english classes) september 9th (2nd batch to begin with normal English Classes). Qualification: B.E. or B.A./Diploma, High school certificate( ESL or TESOL Certification / / Teaching experience preferred but not compulsory) If interested, please send your CV/resume with recent photo and cover letter to:kingstonmaeintlsch@yahoo.gr"

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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EF Indonesia, English First Indonesia

Your intrepid sleuth came across the following diatribe on his wanderings. The article is in serious danger of becoming extinct as it has been heavily censored on some sites and has even been completely pulled on at least two others. Here it can be preserved for posterity. The Inspector isn't too sure who wrote it but will be very happy to acknowledge the author if he cares to drop him a line.

"The biggest advances that man can make are achieved through knowledge and education. Education in Indonesia is usually only thought of in terms of the primary, secondary, high schools and universities of Indonesia. But what about the English language schools which are operating throughout Indonesia as privatized businesses? Who is accounting for THEIR academic standards? THEIR employments standards? THEIR employment practices?

English First is the biggest and most well known chain of franchised English language schools in Indonesia. They are well known, by name, by Indonesian students and are trusted by Indonesians to be an establishment that sells the highest academic excellence in the ESL industry. Having been an employee of this chain, I would challenge any claims of academic excellence and I am miffed at the recruiting techniques, contract negotiating, academic standards and treatment of their academic staff. I would also challenge English First to their competence in providing solid methodologies or techniques in teaching the spoken English language.

I am also miffed as to how this school can continually circumvent Indonesian employment laws, circumvent the immigration laws and visa regulations as well as circumvent Indonesian laws in regards to contractual employment agreements. As a former upper management staff member of an English First school, I was under the impression that Indonesian law required expat teachers to have qualifications to teach spoken English in Indonesia. I was also under the impression that to acquire a KITAS, foreign English teachers were required to be NATIVE speakers of English and MUST be from Australia, Canada, USA, New Zealand or England. So why does English First have many teachers throughout their franchised system who are from countries other than the countries not on the list? And how do these teachers from OTHER countries have KITAS visas when they are full time ESL teachers at a language school?

Currently, the largest numbers of employed teachers from OTHER countries are from the Philippines and their contract salaries are considerably less than that of those from the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand or England. I was also under the impression that teachers were required to have verifiable qualifications to TEACH spoken English. How and why does English First continually hire what are supposed to be Professional teachers when the majority of their teachers have NO experience teaching spoken English, no qualifications to TEACH spoken English or are not even native speakers from the 5 stipulated countries clearly written in Indonesian Employment codes?

Why are English First teachers required to meet an “Agent” in Singapore, wait 3 months for a legal work permit and during the “waiting period” must be hidden from view when immigration agents show up at the school?

I am also curious to know why English First can consistently sign teachers to 1 year contracts yet not provide LEGAL KITAS work permits for 4 or 5 or 6 months, sometimes longer, for teachers even though the contract has been already signed. Is there a loophole in the law? Is it not the legal responsibility of English First to provide legal work papers at the time of contract signing?

Why is it that English First is allowed to change the terms of the contract of the teacher AFTER the contract is signed by both parties? And how is this done with no legal representation for the party whose contract is being changed?

Why are Native teachers required to sign a contract that stipulates that if they leave prior to the final date of contract they must pay $1000-1500usd, prorated for time of service, for the KITAS work permits when they are provided no receipts or proof of cost for the work permits? Where are these work permits coming from?

Why are there Native teachers honoring their contracts and teaching yet they receive no legal working paperwork for up to 6 months after arrival? Education is the future of Indonesia, the future of all who live on our earth. The President of Indonesia, a few months ago, stated that the acquirement of the English language is a priority of this country. Why is the future of Indonesian students treated with such passive carelessness?

Why can a school like English First consistently market themselves as academic professionals when it is obvious to professional English teachers that they have no competence in the industry which they represent? Indonesian students of English should be demanding educational competence from these privatized schools and demanding qualifications from the teachers who are teaching them or your children before they enroll. More over, companies that choose to be in the education industry should be required to meet basic academic and employment standards that are equivalent to the countries they represent. Meaning, privatized English schools should not be allowed to operate within’ Indonesian borders unless they can meet the minimum academic and employment standards of the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand or England.

English First has spent 7 years in making themselves an “Image” name in Indonesia. A statement they proudly and repeatedly clarify in their operating manuals. And according to their operating manuals they are ONLY an image name in Indonesia. They are not an “Image” native teachers want to list on their CV’s because reputable other ESL employers find EF to be less then sub-standard in academic delivery. They are not an “Image” name on ESL teacher forums on the internet where they are blasted for management and academic incompetence on a daily basis. They are not an “Image” name amongst international ESL Academic’s such as TOEFL, TOEIC, IELTS and the de facto ESL accrediting agency, The British Council."

Phew!

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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Monday, June 04, 2007

INDEX

TEFL Jobs in Greece

Greek schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Anglo-Hellenic Teacher Recruitment


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Finland

Finnish schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

AAC Helsinki


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in The Czech Republic

Czech schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

TEFL Worldwide Prague
Eurolingua Brno, Czech Republic
Hampson School Mlado Boleslav, Czech Republic


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Turkey

Turkish schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

UKLA Academy Bursa


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in The United Kingdom

UK postings on The TEFL Blacklist:




_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Slovakia

Slovakian schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Kramar's School of English
CBI Canadian Bilingual Institute in Bratislava, Slovakia (Slovak Republic)


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Switzerland

Swiss schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

The Cambridge Institute, Switzerland
Berlitz, Switzerland
Hull's School, Zurich


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Italy

Italian schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

  1. Inlingua Avelino
  2. The Benedict Schools
  3. TEFL Italy
  4. The British Institutes
  5. Berlitz Rome Berlitz Milan
  6. Anderson House Bergamo
  7. The British Schools, Italy


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Germany

German schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Easy English Essen


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in France

French schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Inlingua Paris
TEFL France
Wall Street Institute


_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Malaysia

Malaysian schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

International House, Kuala Lumpur

_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Thailand

Thai schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Bell Thailand Centre, TJAS, Bangkok
TEFL in Thailand

_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Korea

Korean schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

TEFL Jobs in Korea - ESL on Korea
Asta Kids Club in Incheon Korea
Seon's Cooking and Acting Kids Co, Ltd. Korea
Korean Xenophobia. The Inspector's Last Word
EWHA Little Campus Dal-dong Ulsan
Yang-Jeong Academy Yongin City

_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Japan

Japanese schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

Berlitz, Japan
Smith's School of English, Japan
Shane Schools - Saxoncourt Recruitment

_______________________________________________________________

FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in China

Chinese schools on The TEFL Blacklist:

____________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland
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