Bluniverse, Hefei China

QUOTE FROM THE BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS SECTION

"Branches in Anhui province.

60 hour work weeks. Teaching hours and office hours are not counted equally. Yes, the contract says teaching hours are limited to 24 a week, but you got to be in the office for more time than that.

Yellow, the boss, is a control freak who manipulates everyone.

He changes the schedule on the whims of parents.

Class times are random at best, at often depend on the schedules of the bratty kid whose parents have the most money or influense.

Accommodation is crap.

Most days you got to teach mornings at some offsite god awful middle school, then get the afternoon off, then work evenings teaching clawing high-school students and middle school students.

Salary is based on teaching hours, not on a monthly basis. If no one wants classes in January, you don't get paid because you didn't teach. Meanwhile, you're still expected to be in the office for 40 hours a week.

IF kiddies want lessons everyday during their spring holiday. you work up to 200 hours that month, but will be told that your get a monthly salary of less than you expect.

stay away"

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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International House Kuala Lumpur

QUOTE FROM THE BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS SECTION
International House Kuala Lumpur.

The whole place is an utter shambles with awful pay, pathetic holidays, 6 day weeks, a corrupt owner and what must be the biggest turnover in staff anywhere. Still, IH London don't mind...they get the affiliation money and can say they are in Malaysia!

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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AAC in Helsinki Finland

QUOTE FROM THE BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS SECTION
AAC in Helsinki are the biggest bunch of w**k***s on the earth. Low pay for teachers and lots of lovely interfering, the micromanaging c**ts. More later!

NB. As Granny is convinced that the innocent youth of today simply wouldn't understand some of the eloquence used above, I've had to humour her. So here you are Blacklisters - Granny's first word quiz!
Clue: the first word rhymes with thankers and the second with punts.
Answers on a postcard please to:
AAC Global
Tammasaarenkatu 5
00180 HELSINKI
Post address:
PO. BOX 206, 00201 HELSINKI
Tel. +358 (0)9 4766 7800
fax +358 (0)9 4766 7810

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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TEFL Worldwide Prague

A RECOMMENDED SCHOOL
TEFL Worldwide Prague is a very good place to learn to teach English as a Foreign Language. Check out Alicia's (Alicat) blog which is a good read, being both very funny, refreshingly honest and obligatory reading for anyone wanting to teach in Prague. I hope the Management at TEFL Worldwide Prague give her one or all of the following:

• a nice envelope stuffed full of cash
• a new set of latex underwear
• an all expenses paid evening out at Dog's Bollocks (a bar - I checked it's real!)
• a nice hunky boyfriend (she may already be fixed up by the time you read this)

as a reward for alerting The Inspector to the original malicious unfounded posting.

He was to be seen taking notes whilst reading the September archive on her blog and was reminded of the song by Tom Lehrer "The Masochism Tango", given the recent spate of sado-masochism/bondage postings on The TEFL Blacklist (apparently known as BDSM in the trade)

"Alicat's" blog can be found by clicking HERE

The Masochism Tango (Tom Lehrer)

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips dear,
You can raise welts, like nobody else,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye, set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches,
The last time I needed twenty stitches,
To sew up the gash, that you made with your lash,
As we danced to the Masochism Tango.

Bash in my brain, and make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again, and say we'll never part.

Take your cigarette from its holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder,
Fracture my spine, and swear that you're mine,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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The OSCARS (TEFL) 2007

Only four more days to go. Now's your last chance to cast your vote.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Homage to SandyM - doyen of The Cucumber Industry

Just a brief word to acknowledge the enormous efforts made by Sandy in exposing Shysters and also in his efforts to support the Cucumber Industry.
Well done Sandy. Keep it up!

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

As you can imagine The Inspector gets quite a few postings of a somewhat ehrrm, uncharitable type. I would now like to set the record straight:

• I like buses but have no desire to throw myself under one.
• I have no desire to get to know "the boys" down a dim alleyway at night!
• My sexual preferences are none of your business and in any case I would need to do a fair bit of yoga to have a sexual relationship with myself so comments of that type are sheer wishful fantasy.
• "Go forth and multiply" was how it was put in the Bible. Please don't reduce it to two short words.

Why does this blog exist? For the following reasons:

1. Why should any professional have trained for at least three years Graduate study and then be expected to get some Mickey Mouse overpriced diploma to......
2. Teach for less than you pay a toilet cleaner, a dishwasher or any job in McDonald's. No offence to people working in those industries but you didn't have to spend a lot of time, energy and money to end up being exploited.
3. Megalomaniac, egocentric school owners and petty DOS' are often the norm, especially in China and Korea.
   
4. What sets TEFL/ESL apart, is that too many schools hide behind a fictitious facade of corporate professionalism, when in reality far too many bully, overwork and underpay their teachers and do not deliver what they promise, Shane Schools is a fine example.
5. EFL teachers have no union with any teeth.
6. EFL teachers are often cheated by schools running outrageously expensive TEFL Cert. courses.
   
7. TEFL career prospects are worse than a turkey's at Christmas

That dear readers is why this blog exists. To inform and enlighten the innocent TEFL lambs and warn them of the Big Bad Wolf.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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International House

What! International House I imagine you're thinking. This time The Inspector has gone too far. Calm down, relax. I'm not blacklisting International House London, whose courses (albeit expensive)I have no gripe with (for the moment). I'm blacklisting the International House franchise project which lets any old Tom Dick Harry or Carlos, Pierre or Norbert start up and use, or rather abuse, the International House name. Shame on you International House. If you want to expand, do it honourably and manage the overseas scam "International House" schools to the same standard you would expect in London.
How many teachers have signed up for one of your overseas courses with one of your franchise schools without knowing that they were not the real thing. And don't waste your time replying that the courses are underwritten, supervised by International House London. It all looks nice in print but IT ISN'T HONEST.

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

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TEFL Italy ESL Jobs in Italy

ITALY!

The Mad Hatter's Tea (T for TEFL) Party
A country of contrasts. From Potenza to Pasta and Milan to Mafia. It's dangerous to generalise, but the Italians can be the most charming people you have ever met and at the same time the most devious. Girls do take warning, the Inspector has heard of randy Italians so desperate for a quick fix that they have been know to lie down and look up your skirts! Amazing but true.

Even back in Roman times you could see sophistication and savagery together in the same society. The porn paintings in the brothels in Pompei take some beating.....














....now they just throw the TEFL teachers to the lions.

Expect to be a bit schizo when it comes to teaching English in Italy. You'll meet some wonderful people, but the whole country can be a bit like the Mad Hatter's Tea Party or should I say TEFL Party.

I'll be returning to this posting a lot over the next few days. Just to link everything together for starters here's a list of schools in Italy to avoid:

British Institutes Italy
The British Schools Italy
Anderson House, Bergamo
Inlingua Naples
Angloschool, Potenza

Update March 4 2007
AVOID
Living languages, Reggio di Calabria, Italy
Inlingua Avellino

Unless, that is, your a masochist!

Click here to see a model Italian lesson.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Executive Language Services ELS Paris

The owner of this outfit is a Dorothy Polley, otherwise known in the Trade as "Mad Dorothy". The Inspector rests his case Millud.
Her madhouse can be found at the following address:
Executive Language Services
20, rue Sainte-Croix de la Bretonnerie
75004 PARIS

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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Inlingua Paris

Very much an organisation to avoid. One little scam they operate is to force you to learn their useless method, which in The Inspector's opinion has less value than parrot droppings.
If you decide you want to leave during your contract they make you pay for your so called training and deduct a hefty sum from your salary.
Sharp practice from a Great White, or rather, Black Shark.

Smooth talking businessmen in flash suits, snotty receptionists and admin staff. All that glitters here is definitely not gold. Don't go near them or you'll lose an arm and a leg!

Want to see Paris? See it on vacation not with this bunch of shysters. They are always advertising. It doesn't take a degree in rocket science to work out why.

The Inspector will return to the theme of franchising often. It's a racket, even operated by the Mother Theresa of language schools, International House. Another rogue outfit, hiding behind slick marketing, is of course Wall Street Institute whose franchisees have gone bankrupt again and again only to reappear like phoenix from the ashes with a new company fronting the name who naturally disown the debt of the previous lame duck. The franchisee pays megabucks for the right to use the name, other than that they pay lip service to the owner of the franchise.

Inlingua Paris can be found at the following addresses:

Inlingua Paris la Défense
CNIT Center
2, Place de la Défense
F-92053 Paris la Défense

Inlingua Paris La Plaine Saint Denis
ZAC des Cornillons
11, rue des Gazométres
F-93210 Saint Denis La Plaine

Inlingua Paris Levallois Perret
22-24, rue du Président Wilson
F-92300 Levallois Perret

Inlingua Paris Rive Gauche
109, rue de l'Université
F-75007 Paris

Inlingua Paris Roissy
Batiment Le Gaugin - Paris Nord 2
47 Allée des Impressionnistes, BP 50408 Villepinte
F-95944 Roissy Charles de Gaulle cedex

Inlingua Paris Versailles
3, rue du Maréchal de Lattre de Tassigny
F-78150 Le Chesnay


Here's a list of all the other Inlinguas in France. Remember they are all owned by different people but are all probably tarred with the same brush. Ask questions before signing anything. If you don't get clear unambiguous answers get that barge pole out.

Here are the other Inlingua centres in France. Message to all Inlingua owners - I personally think that your organisation sucks. If any of you charming bunch of businessmen, who pretend that you are experts in language teaching, think that you have been unfairly tarred and targeted, The Inspector would like to hear from you. However please don't bother sending me the usual threats to break my legs or sue me. How sad that The Inspector sees through your slick marketing and thinks that your organisation is rotten to the core, but life's a bitch.

Inlingua Aix-en-Provence
Hemiris Bât A
115, rue Claude Nicolas Ledoux
F-13854 Aix-en-Provence/CX03

Inlingua Amiens
Rue des Jacobins
F-80000 Amiens

Inlingua Arcachon
Villa Tosca
11 boulevard du Général Leclerc
F-33120 Arcachon

Inlingua Belfort
ZAC de la Justice
rue Gustave Lang
F-90000 Belfort

Inlingua Besançon
MBR Services, Le Master's 21
Espace Valentin
F-25048 Besançon Cédex

Inlingua Bordeaux-Mérignac
Parc d'activité Kennedy
5 rue Henri Becquerel, Batiment F RC
F-33700 Bordeaux-Mérignac

Inlingua Boulogne sur Mer
1, blvd. de la Liane
F-62200 Boulogne sur Mer

Inlingua Caen
Parc d'Activités de la
10, rue Colonel Rémy, Bt.M18
F-14000 Caen

Inlingua Chalon Sur Saône
75 Grande Rue St Côme
F-71100 Chalon Sur Saône

Inlingua Clermont Ferrand
18, allée Evariste Galois
F-63170 Aubière

Inlingua Colmar
MBR Services Colmar
4, rue de la Houblonnière
F-68000 Colmar

Inlingua Compiègne
Les Tertiales Bât. A
ZAC de Mercières 1
F-60200 Compiègne
Tel: +33 3 44 97 05 05
Fax: +33 3 44 97 05 06

Inlingua Dijon
8, allée A. Bourland / BP 176
F-21005 Dijon Cedex

Inlingua Dunkerque
16, rue Georges Clémenceau
F-59760 Grande Synthe

Inlingua Epinal
7 bis, avenue de la Loge Blanche
F-88000 Epinal

Inlingua Evreux
13, rue de la Mairie
F-27000 Evreux

Inlingua Inlingua Haguenau
44, blvd. de Lattre de Tassigny
F-67500 Haguenau

Inlingua Hazebrouck
41, avenue du Maréchal Delattre de Tassigny
F-59190 Hazebrouck

Inlingua La Rochelle
Z.A les Minimes
6 Rue d'Artimon
F-17000 La Rochelle


Inlingua Le Havre
16, rue Pierre Brossolette
F-76600 Le Havre

Inlingua Lens
Ecoparc du Bord des Eaux
Boulevard F. de Magellan
F-62100 Hénin-Beaumont

Inlingua Lille
12 rue de Cannes, 3e étage
F-59000 Lille

Inlingua Lyon
74, rue de Bonnel
F-69003 Lyon

Inlingua Lyon Chassieu
20, avenue des Frères Montgolfier
F-69680 Chassieu

Inlingua Marcq-En-Baroeul
Château Rouge, BP 5051
278, Avenue de la Marne
F-59705 Marcq-En-Baroeul

Inlingua Marseille
33 Boulevard de la Liberté
F-13001 Marseille

Inlingua Metz
Espace Serpenoise
19, en Nouvellerue
F-57000 Metz

Inlingua Mulhouse
MBR Services Mulhouse
65, rue Jean Monnet
F-68200 Mulhouse

Inlingua Nancy
10, rue Mazagran
F-54000 Nancy

Inlingua Nantes
CAP OUEST Sat du Perray
2 bis rue Robert Le Ricolais
F-44300 Nantes cedex 04

Inlingua Orléans
2, rue de Patay
F-45000 Orléans

Inlingua Pau
86 Boulevard de la Paix
F-64000 Pau

Inlingua Rouen
8, rue Jean Rostand, BP 156
F-76144 Le Petit Quevilly CX

Inlingua Saint Jean-de-Luz
Espace Olano P.A. Jalday
F-64500 Saint Jean-de-Luz

Inlingua Saverne
Parc d'Activité La Licorne
10 rue d'Otterswiller
F-67700 Saverne

Inlingua Strasbourg
8, rue Hannong
F-67380 Lingolsheim

Inlingua Toulouse
Technoparc Basso Cambo
13, rue Paulin Talabot
F-31100 Toulouse

Inlingua Tours
Centre d'Affaires Axe
8, rue Honoré de Balzac
F-37000 Tours

Inlingua Valenciennes
Parc d'Activités de l'Aérodrome Ouest
rue Louis Duvant
F-59328 Valenciennes cedex

Click here for the soundtrack (the theme tune to the movie Jaws!)

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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TEFL France, ESL Jobs in France

"I don't want to join a club that will accept me as a member"
Groucho Marx.
If any of these blacklisted schools offer you a job, get that bargepole out "tout de suite"!
TEFL in France seems to have slumped in the last five years. As a consequence there are fewer jobs around and the ones that you'll see advertised on places like TEL.com will probably have low staff morale, high staff turnover and not be nice places to work.

In and around Paris avoid:

• Inlingua Paris
• Wall Street Institute Paris
  
• I.A.L (Institute Of Applied Languages) Paris
  
• Transfer Paris
  
• Formalangues Paris
  
• Le Comptoir des Langues Paris
  
• Ecole Berlitz Paris
• Executive Language Services Paris
• Fontainebleau Langues et Communications
  

Elsewhere in France avoid:

• International House - Nice

Click here for the movie.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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The Inspector reaches Italy's private parts

The Inspector or l'inspecteur as he is known in France decided yesterday to drive through the Mont Noir tunnel to Italy thus continuing his intrepid journey around the world in eighty days.

He found a wonderful lakeside hotel in the famous Italian alpine resort of Cognito. Pressed for time he will simply post the names of the schools in France awarded a black star for the moment and give you the juicy details later.

Things are hotting up for the OSCARS 2007 on 25 February. Front runner clearly is Smith's School of English in Japan, a good cucumber's length ahead of Paul Lowe.

Do check out Sandy's blog as he seems to have got the sh*t between the teeth, as the saying goes - regarding Windsor TEFL!

Inspector McHammered of the Lard, in Cognito, Italy

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Wall Street Institute, France

A few comments from happy employees of Wall Street, safely archived from the web for openers:

“You should clear about 11 euros an hour. That might hold you over till you find a real teaching job.”

“So they only pay 11 euros an hour, but you get to have "encounters" with the students? Shocked on company time or your own? Wink”

”Wall Street in my experience are just slick businessmen in suits and beneath all the clever marketing are basically cowboys. They regularly go bust around Europe (many recently in Spain and a few in France - Lyon, Paris, Rouen). Avoid them like the plague. ”

”Although I've never worked in one myself, I've yet to meet a former WS employee with a good word to say about them. I love their marketing on the metro: "98% pass rate" i.e. our own internal test. ”

”Calling Wall Street an 'Institute' is like calling McDonalds a 'RESTAURANT.'

”I see from their ads on the metro that you can take their diagnostic test absolutely FREE and without committing to a course. Now that's what I call a special offer!!! ”

”Does this mean WSI are now borrowing marketing techniques from the Scientologists and the Hare Krishnas? ”

”No, they are way better then Scientologists or 'would you like a free book' Krishnas. They don't call student's limited time with a teacher a lesson - it's an 'encounter.' Really. ”

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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The Inspector finally departs!

I had been informed that the Dutch ski slopes were high up and that Interpol was in Holland. As I have previously reported, I was wrong on both counts. High? Well I was certainly high as a kite on what I had innocently believed was a Marlboro light and had a very nasty moment at Heathrow as I looked a bit of a wreck and not my usual dapper self . Luckily I pulled rank with my connections at Scotland Lard, exited the airport, a bit sharpish shall we say, and decided to return the next day to fly to Lyon, where I was assured Interpol were based, and do a bit of proper skiing and begin my "Round the TEFL World in Eighty Days" journey in France.

The only problem with France, in the Inpector's view is the French. Great scenery, shaggable women, great weather down south but.... and it's a big but, The Inspector takes a dim view of any country whose staple diet is basically slugs (with shells), frogs, brains, bollocks and ehrm........ well you get my drift. The police look like some of those on the streets in China, with their big clubs and not a lot going on upstairs! Not so unlike some of the seedy strip joints in Amsterdam I researched, but I digress.....

After the experience of the Banana Club in Amsterdam I'm right off fresh fruit and dodgy foreign cigarettes and the Inspector is now on a strict diet of purified yaks milk (organic), the healing properties of this medicine are legendary, and it has been prescribed for me by my English GP. I couldn't take the risk of seeing a doctor in France as I had been tipped off that no sooner have they shaken your hand then they stick something up your behind. Why is it that everything medical in France has to be taken up the "exit" end, rather than nature's natural "entrance" orifice, the mouth, and stuck up your derriere as suppositories? I always knew the French talked through their arses but they seem to use them for a lot of other purposes than which they were intended by the good Lord. Perhaps Paul Lowe of Windsor TEFL courses can enlighten the Inspector, as he can expect a rather large cucumber in the post on Monday, and will undoubtedly be eager to follow the instructions as to what to do with it! I digress again.

I'll be spending some time in this strange land and will kick off with some of the biggest bunch of shysters ever to walk this planet - Wall Street Institute.


Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Around The World in Eighty Days!

The TEFL world that is.
The Inspector has decided to take a skiing holiday in Holland for a week and such will not be his usual vigilant self (for most of time away from the internet) and the Blacklist will therefore be quiet and all language school owners can sleep soundly in their beds. Following that will follow a country by country 80 day world tour, by yak, exposing TEFL malpractice.

Click HERE to watch the movie.

TULIPS FROM AMSTERDAM

Inspector McHammered

When it's term again, I'll learn again
TEFL from Amsterdam
With a heart thats black, I'll give a smack
TEFL from Amsterdam
I can't wait until the day you fill
These eager arms of mine
TEFL treadmill keeps on turning
That's why this blog keeps on burning
For the day I know we can't resist, to blacklist from Amsterdam

When it's Spring again, I'll bring again
TEFL from Amsterdam
With a heart thats blue, I'll take the piss out of you
TEFL from Amsterdam
I can't wait until the day you fill
These eager arms of mine
TEFL treadmill keeps on turning
That's cause your job has no earning
For the day I know we can't resist, to blacklist from Amsterdam

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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Windsor TEFL Courses

Paul Lowe, the owner of Windsor TEFL Courses seems to have incurred the wrath of a number of people who have nominated Windsor for a TEFL Blacklisting. Your devoted Inspector, as always, has responded to your reasonable requests and named and shamed the organisation.

Let's all find out the depths to which Paul "Lowe" can sink. As demonstrated with Cicero, a reasonable defence, will result in the plug being pulled but, oh dear you do seem to have made a lot of enemies Mr. Lowe. The Inspector and his readers look forward to hearing from you before the thread becomes unstoppable. The comments originally posted on the "Nominations" page have been removed and reposted here.

P.S. I'm afraid dear old Grandad couldn't restrain himself and clicked on Sandy's link before I could stop him! Would you believe it he keeled right over in shock, fell heavily backwards and did himself a mischief on the poker which was pointing sharp end up by the fireplace. The Paramedics had to be called. They tried everything to bring him round and even tried mouth to mouth until we had a nasty incident involving his false teeth and the cat.
Finally we tried the TEFL equivalent of Epsom Salts. We flashed him a photo of Paul Lowe and he immediately sat bolt upright and he settled down with a 15 year old single malt fermented yaks milk in one hand, a packet of cheese and onion crisps in the other and a very grumpy look on his face which had gone a worrying shade of purple.
The official diagnosis is severe TEFL trauma and although he's starting to recover from the deep shock he received, I have to say that he has disturbingly just started oiling his samurai sword (which was his retirement present from Honda UK). Granny is very upset as her pussy has bolted out of the house with its hair standing on end and the old boy has had the cheek to ask the wife to book a cheap day return to Windsor for Monday.
He claims he wants to visit Windsor Castle but I have my doubts.
I'd better keep the address of Windsor TEFL from him just in case.



_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard

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Cicero R.I.P

The plug has been pulled on Cicero. Those of the Inspector's regular readers will know the story so buried in the deepest and darkest reaches of the TEFL Blacklist is a corner for you to pay your respects to Cicero.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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Ian Holden, Saxoncourt Recruitment (Director)

A posting on the Saxoncourt Recruitment entry* confirms what the Inspector's suspicious mind had already suspected. The unthinkable had happened. I'd nailed a sprat instead of a Prat. Apologies to Paul Mitchell as he is only a bit fishy and welcome to Ian Holden who I now know for certain is the real culprit and a genuine 100% man-eating (why not woman-eating? perhaps the ladies aren't interested) TEFL shark. Enough confirmations have been received through diplomatic channels and, shall we just say, eerhm not so diplomatic channels, for positive ID to be made. Paul Mitchell's smarmy grin will be replaced by Paul Douglas' and the big Prat of them all Ian Holden is now named and shamed and where he belongs - on the good or rather bad old TEFL Blacklist. Thanks to the many undercover detectives burrowing busily and discreetly away in the underwold that is misleadlingly known as TEFL.
Does anyone have a picture of Shrek (sorry Shane) that can be uploaded somewhere discreetly as I'm sure he'd like a mention. Oh and one of Paul Douglas is now urgently required.

* The anonymous posting may actually be from Paul Mitchell himself, but who cares "truth will out".

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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The TEFL Market has Bottomed Out

Disgusting! I'm sure that is what you are thinking. What on Earth is Inpector Mchammered of the Lard thinking of and to what depths has he now descended to publish such a photo?? Calm down dear readers. This is the first authentic sighting of SandyM, that well known TEFL benefactor, perhaps taken from a strange angle, but nevertheless, he was caught on camera whilst caning a DOS.

I apologise for the offence this image might cause to "shocked of Worthing" but as this is such a rare sighting I feel it my duty to expose the blighter for the shameless bounder that he is.

A complaint has beeen received that a more dashing pair of buttocks has been censored. My granny objected so I leave you, the readers and undoubted connoisseurs of what actually elevates your ordinary buttock to star buttock status, to be the judges by clicking on the section "A Poem to a Colleague" here. No raspberries please, though I would advise the model in question to get his lawnmower out of the shed a little earlier this spring as it could be put to other uses.


Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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The Hunt is On!

"Yes, remember that name - Malvern House College? Well, I reckon that Inspector McHammered of the Lard should get on to this family of enterprising Tefl tsars right away, and let us know the full story. We need to know just what the Malhotra buggers are up to now! Are you listening out there, Inspector?!"

So writes that eminent scholar and renowned connoiseur of Yak's milk. The Inspector is unsure whether the reference is to Malvern House College referred to below or that old perennial chestnut Abbey College Malvern, a favourite amongst his readers. Not to bother, let's take a quick peek at Malvern House College first. The posting on Abbey College Malvern can be found here.

The Inspector has been studiously shortlisting the entries for the OSCAR's 2007 but is never one to shirk from his responsibilities. He is concerned that the Headmaster has jumped bail and hopes deeply that one day the Headmaster will expose himself again (not a pretty sight!) but is willing to lay down his quill, reach for his Yak and trek off into the mountains (or rather the Malverns) in search of a good well-renowned and old fashioned baddy.

The picture above is of lovable young Marcos of Malvern House College, clearly a native speaker and able to help you speak English with an authentic Spanish accent. Of undoubted use in Madrid taxis and all parts south of Dover (say Baghdad), where an English accent might result in your holiday being unexpectedly cut short.

The Inspector is seriously considering proposing a Euro-English TEFL course in partnership with HM Government for those security conscious expats who wish to speak euro-patois, in order to disguise their English roots and in accordance with true EU tradition mumble incoherent nonsense with a view to retiring on index linked inflated pensions.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
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FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

The Oscars 2007

Obnoxious School. Classes Appalling. Real Shysters.

The 2007 TEFL Blacademy Awards Ceremony
presented by the ever popular
Inspector McHammered of the Lard.
Live February 25, 2007 from Shane's Bar in Shanghai.
AWARDS

• OVERALL OSCAR WINNER WORST SCHOOL 2007
  
• WORST OWNER
• WORST DOS
• WORST RESOURCED
• WORST BUILDING
• WORST STUDENTS
• WORST PAID
• WORST ACCOMMODATION
• WORST LOCATION

• Inspector McHammered of the Lard
  FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
  FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Blacklisted Chinese EFL Schools/ESL Schools

Your Inspector is McKnackered. This list of awful schools in China is far to long to list after only a single slug of fermented Yak's milk. The Inspector will return to this unexpected, laborious and lengthy task ASAP.
What on earth happened to Chop Suey? I used to think that was all there was to China.

THE SHAMED..........

Aojing International Ltd, China
Beijing Language and Culture University, China
San Jie Foreign Language School, China
XiSanQi Advanced Language School, FuLaiDe Advanced Language School, AoJing, FanZhiDu, China
Yakup International, China
Yanjing Overseas Chinese University, Oxbridge University Business School, China
Davis Language Training Company, China
Tianjin University of Commerce, China
Tianjin university of Finance and Commerce, China
Tianjin University of Science and Technology, China
E & A College, China
Hebei New Times International, China
Hengshui High School, China
Jingbei Foreign Language College, China
EF English First Taiyaun, China
John Gao's school, Number 2 foreign language school (AKA number 18 middle/high school), Modern English, People's Number Two Hospital, Shanxi university, China
Luliang Teachers College, China
O'Smart, China
Taiyuan Mercan School, China
Taiyuan Modern English School, China
Taiyuan Teachers' College, China
Tongliao Huanyu Private Exit and Entry Company Limited, aka Tongliao Huanyu Independent Consulting Services Ltd, China
Yingcai School, China
Yingcai School, China
Affiliated High School of Peking University, China
Aojing International Ltd, China
Beijing Language and Culture University, TMC China
XiSanQi Advanced Language School, FuLaiDe Advanced Language School, AoJing, FanZhiDu, China
Yakup International, China
Yanjing Overseas Chinese University, China
Yanjing Overseas Chinese University, Oxbridge University Business School, China
Columbia College, Columbia Kindergarten, China
English First Changchun (EF Changchun), China
Excel-World English Kindergarten, China
Jilin Province Star Education Consulting Co Ltd, China
Tianshuo, Tianyuan, Baidawei, Simon's language school, China
youngji middli school, China
Auqi Private English School, China
Columbia English College, China
Golden Bridge Language school, China
Harbin Joy Children's Language School, China
Harbin Normal University, China
Harbin Star Foreign Language College, China
Hengfeng Foreign Languages School, China
Highbird Internation School, China
Roy English Language Training Center, China
Boston Training Technologies, China
CHEERY ENGLISH, China
English First Shanghai (EF Shanghai), China
Enlighten / Enlightenment Consultants , China
Gold Apple Bilingual School, China
Kongjiang High School, China
Raffles Lasalle Shanghai, China
Shanghai Normal University, English First Shanghai (EF Shanghai), China
TEFL Jobs Consulting Ltd Company (TEFL.CC), China
Tonghu Consulting, Yuzhen Group Shanghai , China
Xuehui Science Kindergarten, China
Yucai Senior High School, China
English First Suzhou (EF Suzhou), China
Huai Yin Teacher College, China
ICON Language Center, China
Jiangsu Huaian Modern English, China
Nanjing Talent Academy,Talent Inc, China
Rayhua Bilingual School, China
Sino-Canada High School, China

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Nominate a School for Blacklisting

Following a fine suggestion the Inspector is pleased to announce the opening of the nomination section. It'll be a bit like The Oscar's, however the congratulations will be replaced by a good kick up the backside for those stars of the TEFL industry unfortunate enough to be nominated.

Click here to listen to the soundtrack.

_______________________________________________________________

Inspector McHammered of the Lard in Val Ferret, Switzerland

1. The Index
   
2. Most Recent
   
3. Nominate a School for Blacklisting

Tefl.com

Recognise anyone here? They all gave testimonials (knowingly or unknowingly) to support Tefl.com. The reason Tefl.com has a provisional blacklisting is because of two of our friends: the first, Peter Leech (sorry Peter Beech) of Anglo-Hellenic who was described (in such poetic language by one disgrunted teacher in an earlier post as a cowboy); and the second, the infamous Kramar's School of English, Slovakia. I have therefore ordered an in depth investigation into the conduct of your co-advertisers as you appear to accept money from anyone and have little concern for the consequences. You've also posted a fair few ads for The British Institutes, who are also BLACKLISTED. Tefl.com looks very much like the UK version of St. Dave's ESL cafe.

And this testimonial is suspicious
All of our staff do appreciate what you are doing for us. Your free services really give us a lot of help. Beijing Friendship Hotel.
FREE?
We all know that normal advertisers pay and free is not normally in the tefl.com vocabulary. Are you short of cash and are trying to drum up custom in Asia by offering freebies and trying to take business away from St Dave Sperling? It looks like it to me. Readers rest assured that The Inspector will swiftly down in one, a double Yak's Milk with Tonic (shaken not stirred) and report back to you ASAP.

Judge Tefl.com by the company they keep .

I await your response Tefl.com at High Noon.

A list of employers who have provided testimonials and who adore TEFL.com...

Colchester English Study Centre, UK.

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Embassy CES

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Echo Hill, Spain

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St Bedes European Scheme, UK.

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Family Housing Association (Manchester) Ltd., UK.

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Lex English, Brazil.

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Kramar's School of English, Slovakia

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WSI Almeria, Spain.

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English Worldwide, London, England.

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University of Aeronautics and Astronautics, China.

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ELS Language Centers, New Jersey, USA

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The English School, Gandía, Spain.

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Westgate Corporation, Japan.

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Tara Language Services, Oman.

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English Fast, Turkey.

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Anglo-Hellenic Teacher Recruitment, Greece.

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ESADE Idiomas, Barcelona, Spain.

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Sunrise English School, Nagoya, Japan.

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Teach Korea.

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Maple English School, Japan.

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Long Hungary.

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ECC Thailand.

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Cook's English Centre, Bosnia Herzegovina.

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York Idiomas, Spain.

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Billington Recruitment Consultants.

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BKC-IH Moscow.

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Berlitz Korea.

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Global English, Mexico.

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Cido Kindergarten, Taiwan.

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Kunsan National University, South Korea.

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Dover Idiomas, Spain.

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English Speaking Play & Pre School, Oulu, Finland.

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Beijing Friendship Hotel.

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LCCT, Thailand.

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Four Arrows, Canada.

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Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

Daily Update - The Good The Bad and The Ugly

A quick preview, for all you armchair TEFL bloggers, of the latest developments on the site:

1. Some interesting links etc. on The Berlitz Japan post.

2. The Mother of all Battles is erupting on The Cicero Languages International post. Mr Christopher Hills has charged in like a bull in a china shop and has evidently decided not to praise your beloved inspector but to bury him (apologies to William Shakespeare). Teachers are being lined up and asked or ordered to write about what an absolutely delightful place it is but still no sign of Mr Paul Mason or the dodgy DOS. Collective amnesia seems to have afflicted the place. This interesting remedy might be of help.

3. The Wikipedia article warning teachers about Dave's Dollar Cafe has indeed been pulled. What a surprise! The original has been safely preserved for posterity on this site.

4. I've had a few postings from language schools asking for my e-mail address. This is worrying news indeed! I hadn't realised that there were quite so many cretins around. I would like to thank all those (undoubted admirers) for their invitations to pop in for a quick cup of tea and who want to get to know the Inspector better, but I must sadly inform you that, flattered as I am, the Inspector is too busy these days rooting out dodgy TEFL schools. I would strongly advise such people to take up Philately, for example, which is a nice, quiet and harmless hobby instead of your usual obsession with Notaphily. More importantly do get your IQ checked as soon as possible at iqtest.com . If you are disappointed by the low score, don't worry. There is now a revolutionary new method which will boost your IQ . I would however advise you to try holding your breath for ten minutes at a time as the consequences could bring real benefits to the world of TEFL and will change your life!

5. Please note that profanity, abuse, or anything you wouldn't be comfortable with your grandmother reading, will be instantly binned on the spot. This advice is particularly, but not exclusively, directed at the enormous fanclub* of Mr Paul Mitchell (of Saxoncourt Recruitment and Shane English Schools). Please don't waste your time and mine.
*At the last count there was one member.

Click HERE to watch the movie.

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

EFL in China - ESL in China

The Inspector stumbled across this interesting site whilst doing some TEFL forensic analysis.
I'm not sure whether it's a "Sperling Sterling Cafe" type of thing or whatever but you might well find some of the articles of interest if you are planning on teaching in China. There are a lot of reviews of nasty experiences with schools (to the left and listed by region), along with e-mail addresses which are often given by the reviewer/teacher who suffered. Seems pretty objective and open but do let me know if you find anything suspicious. Oh and as usual please let me know if the site is pulled and I'll post an archived version.

Click here for the soundtrack

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE

TEFL Jobs in Korea - ESL Jobs in Korea

I came across this article on the official US Department of State Website and couldn't believe my eyes. All I knew about Korea was that they bury cabbages until they are stinking and putrid and then call it a national dish. Oh and I think they like hot dogs, you know the kind that normally go woof woof.

Read on dear reader to Inspector McHammered of the Lard's discovery. Modestly edited, if only to spare you the tedium of Korean bureaucracy. After reading this please do let me know if you're still set on going to Korea. If you are I will send you the address of a certain Peter Anderson of Bergamo (who is also listed on this site) whom I strongly advise you to write to for advice on a selection of suitable pills to take with you in case of emergencies.

TEACHING ENGLISH IN KOREA, OPPORTUNITIES AND PITFALLS

US Embassy Seoul, Korea AN UNOFFICIAL GUIDE COMPILED BY
AMERICAN CITIZEN SERVICES, U.S. EMBASSY, SEOUL

Over the last few years the U.S. Embassy has received many inquiries about teaching English in Korea. We have prepared this unofficial guidebook to give teachers basic information on the business of teaching English here so that they can be better informed before committing themselves to a particular job.

Unfortunately some American citizens come to Korea under contract, with promises of generous salaries, bonuses and other amenities, only to find themselves in tenuous situations, often lacking funds to return to the U.S. The Embassy, by regulation, cannot enter into any case, conduct an investigation, nor act as a lawyer in legal or contractual mishaps experienced by U.S. citizens. We can neither investigate nor certify employers. It is up to each individual to evaluate potential employers before signing a contract.

We hope this information will prove useful. If you have any problems please contact the American Citizen Services Branch at the U.S. Embassy, 82 Sejong Ro, Chongro Ku. Our telephone number for basic information is 397-4603 or 397-4604. Please press 0 at any time during the message to be connected to an ACS staff member. Our Fax number is 02-397-4621. Our office is open for walk-in service every weekday, except Wednesdays, from 9:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. The Embassy is closed on official American and Korean holidays.

OVERVIEW

Many Americans have enjoyed their teaching experiences in Korea; others have encountered problems. The key to happy and fruitful employment as a language instructor in Korea is to be employed by a reputable school and to negotiate a well-written contract before leaving the U.S. We advise anyone considering accepting an English teaching job in Korea to carefully review the terms of the contract regarding working and living conditions. It would also be useful to ask for references from persons familiar with the institution, especially American former employees.

TYPES OF ESL POSITIONS AVAILABLE IN KOREA

Most English teachers work in language institutes ("hakwon" in Korean). There are, however, positions available in several types of institutions:

- private foreign language institutes (hakwons)
- corporate in-house language programs
- university language institutes- university academic departments
- government/private research centers
- editing/public relations, advertising companies
- private teaching/informal classes

HAKWONS: Private language institutes are found all over Korea. Some institutes are well-known with many branches while others are small and short-lived. The ESL market in Korea is extremely competitive and many institutes fail. Most hakwons employ a number of instructors for conversation and occasionally for writing classes. The typical employee can expect to work 20 to 30 hours per week. The majority of classes are conducted early in the morning and in the evening, so many instructors have free time in the afternoons. Most classes have between 10 and 25 students. Pupils may be grade school or college students, or businessmen who are contemplating overseas assignments. Some of the better institutes will provide housing for instructors. The average salary is currently about 1.5 million won per month (US $ 1,850).

KORETTA/EPIK KOREAN GOVERNMENT PROGRAM: This fairly new, Korea-wide, government-sponsored program places native speakers in every school district in Korea and presents a unique opportunity for the adventurous to live far from tourist routes and population centers. While recruiting and training appear to be performed quite professionally, teachers' living and working experiences vary considerably. Some are welcomed with open arms and treated extremely well. Others, arriving in areas where the program has been forced upon reluctant, underfunded schools, are not wanted and this is made clear to them from the beginning. Housing, benefits, reliability of pay, and access to ombudsmen is steadily improving, but still has a long way to go.

PART-TIME EMPLOYMENT: Many full-time English teachers teach part-time as well, either at another institute or with privately-arranged classes. Extra-contractual private instruction is illegal; however many English teachers do take private students. Part-time instruction at a second institute is legal only with permission from the sponsoring institute and Korean immigration authorities. Private students pay more per hour, but some instructors have found it hard to maintain long-term private classes. One should arrange for private lesson fees to be paid prior to each class. The Embassy reminds teachers that they are personally responsible for any violations of Korean teaching and immigration law they might commit.

CHANGING EMPLOYERS: Korean Immigration must approve changes in employment. This is accomplished through leaving Korea and entering under a new visa with a new sponsor. Changing one's employer while in Korea is quite difficult and requires written consent of the original sponsor. Even with such consent, many teachers have found it nearly impossible to effect such a change while in Korea, and some have even been arrested and deported for overstaying their original visas while still involved in trying to change employers within the country. Questions on this procedure should be directed to the nearest Immigration office or Korean consulate.

LEGAL WARNING! Some Americans have run into serious legal problems with Korean Immigration because they either work as English teachers while in Korea on tourist visas or they accept part-time employment or private classes without obtaining the proper permission. Violation of Korean immigration laws can result in severe penalties including imprisonment, fines of up to 100,000 won ($120) for each day of overstay, or deportation with a ban on re-entry for up to two years. It is your responsibility to understand local laws and to obey them.

If you violate Korean visa laws, the Embassy cannot assist you other than to provide you with a list of attorneys.

NATURE OF CONTRACTS IN KOREA: Foreign instructors in Korea occasionally have contract disputes with their employers. In the Korean context, a contract is simply a rough working agreement, subject to change depending upon the circumstances. Most Koreans do not view deviations from a contract as a breach of contract, and few Koreans would consider taking an employer to court over a contract dispute.

Instead, Koreans tend to view contracts as always being flexible and subject to further negotiation. Culturally, the written contract is not the real contract; the unwritten, oral agreement that one has with one's employer is the real contract. However, many employers will view a contract violation by a foreign worker as serious, and will renege on verbal promises if they feel they can. Any contract should be signed with these factors in mind.

BASIC FEATURES OF MOST TEACHING CONTRACTS: Contracts for teaching positions should include provisions for the following: salary, housing, tickets home, working hours, class size, severance pay, taxes, and medical insurance. If these items are not included, one should negotiate until they are. Information on these topics is given below. When in doubt, ask; get it in writing, and remember that only the Korean-language version of the contract is legally binding in Korea.

SALARY: Most contracts provide for either a set monthly salary, or for a salary based on the number of hours taught. In any event, a guaranteed monthly remuneration should be included in the contract. Payment dates, methods, and currency should be specified in advance.

HOUSING: Few contracts provide for housing in Seoul. This can be a serious problem as housing in Seoul is among the most expensive in the world. Housing options include key money (yearly deposit), monthly rent, shared housing, dormitories, lodging houses, and inns. If your institute does not provide housing, it should at least be able to help you in finding housing, and in negotiating the appropriate rent and utility payments. Teachers who have been promised housing might want to request photos, floorplans or furniture inventories in advance. Koreans have very different ideas of what 'western' and 'furnished' housing mean. 'Furnished' might only mean a linoleum floor and a 2-burner stove. 'Western' usually just means an apartment with an indoor bath. Koreans measure housing space in 'pyong'. One pyong is approximately 36 square feet. Pyong measurements usually include the front porch, utility room, etc. Monthly rents can run from U.S. $1500 to U.S. $4000 for a modest apartment.

KEY MONEY SYSTEM (CHUNSEE): Key money (chunsee) is a year's rent paid in advance; with no monthly rent payment. At the end of the contract period, the renter receives the chunsee back without interest. Chunsee can be risky because property ownership may change in the middle of the contract period, or the owner may simply decide that the foreigner is in no position to fight for the chunsee. One can reduce this risk by having the employer agree to pay the chunsee. Chunsee payments run from a minimum of 20 million won (US $ 24,000) for a studio in a less desirable part of town to 500 million won (US $ 650,000) for a small apartment in one of the richer neighborhoods.

Wolsee is a variation of chunsee. The renter pays a certain amount per month plus an initial deposit which he receives back when he moves out. The same caveats apply as with chunsee.

TICKETS HOME: Some institutes promise to provide tickets home upon completion of a contract or to reimburse teachers for the trip to Korea. One should be aware that sometimes this commitment is not honored. Consider requesting an open-ended round trip ticket in advance.

WORKING HOURS: Most institutes require foreign instructors to teach five to six hours per day, Monday through Friday, and some also ask instructors to teach Saturday morning as well. Universities will usually require 10 to 15 hours per week plus participation in student activities such as editing school newspapers. Research centers usually require 40 hours per week, with occasional uncompensated overtime. Saturday morning is a normal part of the Korean work week. Teachers may have to teach early morning or late evening classes to accommodate working students.

Most English teachers hired from the United States do not get their jobs directly through the institute where they work. Instead, they are recruited by a placement service. These services recruit on campus and in U.S. publications. The embassy has received complaints about a number of recruiters. Those considering working in Korea should deal with recruiters carefully: many of them do not know at which hagwon in which area of Korea the teacher will be placed; very few of them, to our knowledge, will accept responsibility for a placement that is contrary to the original terms of agreement or contract. Prospective teachers should keep all of the advice in this publication in mind when discussing employment terms with a recruiter.

CULTURAL PITFALLS

DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS: Many types of people teach English in Korea. Some are professionally trained with degrees in TESOL; some hold graduate degrees in other disciplines and teach in Korea because they want to experience another culture; some teach English while doing other things, such as research; some teach while looking for other jobs; some are merely seeking any kind of work to help pay school bills; some are just passing through.

Teachers have differing expectations. They bring their own unique perspectives to their jobs, as well as their own individual reactions to new circumstances. Some expect to be revered and are shocked when they are not; others expect to make a lot of money but later find they actually earn about what a unionized bus driver in Seoul does; some expect to receive a large Western-style house and are disappointed to find themselves living in a modest room. Some teachers have been dismayed to find that their rooms were not air conditioned, and that they would have to work on their birthdays. Having realistic expectations and a flexible attitude prior to starting employment as a teacher in Korea will help prepare you for the inevitable stress and possible disappointment you may encounter.

SHORT-TERM BCISTITUTES: The Korean ESL market is extremely competitive. There are over 100,000 institutes of all types in Korea, most of them small-scale, marginal operations. Due to the competitive nature of the ESL business in Korea, many institutes do not survive long. They open their doors, hire the first foreigner they can find, advertise, teach for a month or so, lose money and close. Most of these cannot and will not pay their teachers for work performed, or for contract-specified repatriation, leaving teachers broke and stranded.

FOREIGNERS ARE NOT KOREAN: Korean society in general makes a great distinction between one's inner circle of family, friends and business colleagues, and outsiders. One should always treat one's inner circle with complete respect and courtesy, while one treats strangers with indifference. Korea is not an egalitarian society; one is either of a higher or a lower status than other people. How do foreigners fit into this scheme? The simple answer is - they don't. Foreigners are completely off the scope.

In recent years, less than 10 percent of Koreans traveled abroad, most often on group tours with other Koreans, or on business trips. Even now, with outbound tourism high, most Korean travelers still visit only friends, relatives or Korean neighborhoods, or travel in groups of other Koreans. Thus, Korean society remains very inwardly focused. For most Koreans, foreigners exist only as stereotypes, and are not always liked. Living in Korea as a foreigner requires patience and fortitude. Many foreigners have found Koreans can be quite friendly and warm, but a foreigner will seldom be accepted as part of the inner circle; he will almost always be an outsider looking in.

SOCIAL STATUS OF TEACHERS: Teachers are usually treated with great respect in Korea. However, it is also important to exhibit the kind of personal qualities and behavior that help maintain that respect. A foreign teacher who does disrespectful things, such as dressing or behaving too casually or informally, or losing his temper with a boss he considers unreasonable, would be held in great disdain by most Koreans, and runs the risk of getting into serious trouble with both his employer and the Korean Immigration Office. In other words, one should always present a mature, discreet, dignified and respectful manner. As a foreigner in Korea you will be highly visible, and you may find living here to be like living in a fish bowl, with everyone around you watching what you do with great interest. Remember that Korean society is more conservative in many ways than American society, and abide by local norms.

THE ESL PROFESSION IS NOT CONSIDERED PROFESSIONAL BY SOME KOREANS: By and large, Koreans do not think teaching ESL is a professional occupation. In fact, many believe any native speaker will do. This of course is based partially on reality - many ESL instructors in Korea have not had any professional training.

KOREAN BOSSES: Korean society is extremely hierarchical. The boss is the boss; he is never questioned or criticized. The same mistreatment you may feel you have received from him is probably not limited to his foreign employees. He probably reneges on contracts and makes 'unreasonable' demands of his Korean employees, too. As a result, one should be careful in how one deals with one's employer. When discussing issues that might become difficult, one should make sure does not to lose one's temper, raise one's voice, or speak in less than respectful language.

LACK OF CLEAR COMMUNICATION: Neither Korean society nor language is very precise. Many things are left unsaid, but still are understood. Of course, foreigners often do not understand. It is important that one understands what is expected and what is required up front, and that any misunderstandings be solved early on. Otherwise problems may develop.

ADAPTING TO KOREA SOCIETY

(This section of advice was written by KOTESOL, the local English Teacher's association.)

CULTURE SHOCK: When first arriving in a country, one is usually excited and eager for new experiences. After a while, the newness wears off, and homesickness begins. Do not judge yourself too severely at this point. It happens to everyone. "I will never understand this place. I want some real food, some real friends, a real apartment. Why do Koreans do X?"

.............the feeling eventually comes that it is time to leave. With luck you will realize it before it affects your life too deeply. It is time to leave when you begin to be negative about the country and its people. When you no longer want to go to work; when you dislike your students; when you become irritated with everything and everyone and have angry discussions with others of like mind, it is time to go.

HOW THE EMBASSY CAN HELP

Just to reiterate, the Embassy, by regulation, cannot enter into any case, conduct any investigation, or act as a lawyer for any personal mishap or employment dispute experienced by a U.S. citizen. We cannot investigate, certify, or vouch for employers. It is up to each individual to evaluate an employer before signing a contract, and to use common sense when traveling this far, including keeping sufficient funds available to return home should the situation become untenable.

The Embassy can assist Americans in a variety of ways. The Embassy offers notary services, renews passports, assists with absentee voting registration, and stocks basic IRS tax forms. We can provide phone numbers of Korean government agencies you may have to deal with. If you find yourself in need of legal help, we can provide a list of attorneys; however, we are unable to recommend any specific lawyer from this list. In case of a financial emergency, we can receive and disburse funds sent to you from a source in the U.S., usually much faster than a bank or wire transfer. Finally, we encourage all U.S. citizens to register with the Embassy. Registration allows us to contact you in the event of a family emergency.

We hope that this handbook has been useful. If you have any further questions, please contact the American Citizen Services Unit. Good luck, and enjoy your stay in Korea.

Heres another site that has an irreverant poke at Korea, both North and South. Enjoy!

Inspector McHammered of the Lard
FOR THE MOST RECENT POSTING CLICK HERE
FOR BLACKLIST NOMINATIONS CLICK HERE